There's a saying that holds that “a child with many names is well loved.” Legally, I have one three-part name – Matilda Kramer Yoder – but in reality I have more than I have ever been able to count. Matilda and Tillie may be the most commonly used of my names, but Till, Tillzers, Tilster, Tili, Tilda, Tillita, Tillith, Matild, Matillie, Mattie, Matt, Matildita, Matildette, Waltzing Matilda, Matilda the Hun, and Hakuna Matilda also make a good showing. When I was around 5 or so, I went through a phrase where I insisted on being called Matilda, which felt more refined and therefore was more appealing. I'm glad to say this did not last long, and I have come to love all my many names.
This is not to say that I don't have deeper connections to some names than others. I am named for my twice-maternal great-grandmother (who also went by Tillie for short). Although I never met her, I cherish my connection to her because by all accounts she was a pretty awesome woman. I also share the name with my mother's childhood pet gerbil, which I take as indicative of my mother's life-long love for her grandmother and the name rather than my resemblance to a rodent. Rodent or no, it's easy to see why Matilda takes precedence over Matilda the Hun or Tillie the Terrible.
There are other aspects to the name Matilda that make be proud to be one. I view the name as solid, unique, and easily translatable across cultures. Its meaning - “mighty in battle” - seems ironic given my Mennonite commitment to pacifism, but there are many types of battle in this world, and I like having a name that reminds me to be strong in the face of those battles. I am the only Matilda I know in my age group, though I know a baby Matilde, and have heard that the name is making a resurgence.
I also love Tillie, though the name has very different connotations than Matilda. If the books I have with Tillies in them are any indicator, most people view Tillies as old hicks, homeless women, elderly aunts, naive girls, men, or mice (there are several mice-Tillies out there, which makes me wonder about what it is about my names that lends itself to rodents). These Tillies are all well-meaning, and often very generous, inventive, or intelligent, but the odd stereotypes remain. I have come to embrace them: for me, Tillie has always been more informal anyway.
Not many people equate Tillie with the name Matilda, either, so I often introduce myself with that name and then add that I am usually called Tillie (partly in the hope that they will realize how cool both names are). Then I give people permission to call me whatever they feel like, and people take me up on it - I have a lot of names now, and I keep getting more. I've noticed that the names I am given reflect the depth of my friendships and remind me just how loved I am. And who wouldn't appreciate that?
This is not to say that I don't have deeper connections to some names than others. I am named for my twice-maternal great-grandmother (who also went by Tillie for short). Although I never met her, I cherish my connection to her because by all accounts she was a pretty awesome woman. I also share the name with my mother's childhood pet gerbil, which I take as indicative of my mother's life-long love for her grandmother and the name rather than my resemblance to a rodent. Rodent or no, it's easy to see why Matilda takes precedence over Matilda the Hun or Tillie the Terrible.
There are other aspects to the name Matilda that make be proud to be one. I view the name as solid, unique, and easily translatable across cultures. Its meaning - “mighty in battle” - seems ironic given my Mennonite commitment to pacifism, but there are many types of battle in this world, and I like having a name that reminds me to be strong in the face of those battles. I am the only Matilda I know in my age group, though I know a baby Matilde, and have heard that the name is making a resurgence.
I also love Tillie, though the name has very different connotations than Matilda. If the books I have with Tillies in them are any indicator, most people view Tillies as old hicks, homeless women, elderly aunts, naive girls, men, or mice (there are several mice-Tillies out there, which makes me wonder about what it is about my names that lends itself to rodents). These Tillies are all well-meaning, and often very generous, inventive, or intelligent, but the odd stereotypes remain. I have come to embrace them: for me, Tillie has always been more informal anyway.
Not many people equate Tillie with the name Matilda, either, so I often introduce myself with that name and then add that I am usually called Tillie (partly in the hope that they will realize how cool both names are). Then I give people permission to call me whatever they feel like, and people take me up on it - I have a lot of names now, and I keep getting more. I've noticed that the names I am given reflect the depth of my friendships and remind me just how loved I am. And who wouldn't appreciate that?
It's true what you said about names having different connotations. You are the only person I know named Tillie, but when I first heard your name here at Goshen, I assumed you were some weird, hick girl--one of the stereotypes that you listed above. It's so interesting to think about the different notions people get about others based on their names. And then, it's more interesting how people somehow fall into the stereotypes of their name… or completely redefine the name for the people that meet them.
ReplyDeleteYou asked me if I knew the origins of my name—it took me forever, but I finally found it on one baby name website. Only one. It’s of French origin, and means “yew” (like the tree). It’s the American combination of “la” and “Yvonne.” Not super exciting origins, which is too bad.
Tillie/Matilda, I liked your opening saying and I find that it also rings true to my own experience. Though not always, I find that nicknames (at least the ones I appreciate) stem from relationships and those who take the time to get to know me best. I am glad you have come to love all your many names and the reminder they are of the friendships that they originate from.
ReplyDeleteThough many of the stereotypes you listed do come to mind when I think of the name Tillie, I also realized that you are the only Matilda/Tillie that I know. In that sense, you can feel free to create a new image for people of who a Tillie is and how the name can represent more than just a rodent creature.
I am curious as to what your parents, grandparents, and older respected adults call you. Since you insisted on being called Matilda as a child, do older adults in your life still use that name for you? Would you prefer the more formal or informal name in a future work setting?
I definitely agree with your comment that the names people give reflects their love for each other. Naming is wonderful. My Mom calls naming a spiritual process, especially naming one's children.
ReplyDeleteMy sister got to attend a Maasai tribe's naming ceremony for a little girl while she was in Kenya. Hearing about it was really neat. It made me wonder why we don't have naming ceremonies here. Baby dedications in the Mennonite church might have a similar purpose. During the naming ceremony the child is given a blessing, and are told "May that name live in you." At baby dedications I've been at, the baby is also given a blessing and the congregation promises to be there for the child, to support them, as the Maasai tribe by way of the naming ceremony calls that child their own.
This was a great way to start the class. Its funny because when you introduced yourself as Tillie, I was like, where does that name stem from? I would have never associated that with Matilda at all. I think that old saying is wonderful, I take it to mean that as many names as you receive from people is a sign of how many people you have made a deeper connection with, a friendship. You are the only Matilda I have met as well, ever in my life. It is also very ironic that your name means something completely opposite of your position on certain things as well. I am assuming your parents are Mennonite as well, and I am wondering if you ever thought to yourself how you got your name and what made them give you such a name that goes against those beliefs? Just asking, but either way, your friends have given you many other options as far as names go and I think you will be just fine with having more names to come!
ReplyDeleteVery cool. It's funny, because I think in my head I often think of you as "Matilda," and have you listed as such under my phone contacts. However, it would rarely ever cross my mind to address you as that verbally.In my more contemplative moments, I think a lot about the difference between spoken and written language, as well as the significance of tools such as slang and nicknames.
ReplyDeleteYou are also the only Matilda I can claim to know personally. I think the only other place I can claim to have heard the name is in the popular children's series my parents often read to me as a child. Also, I've seen copies of "Matilda the Mennonite Maid" in more than a few large bookstores.
What made you come to a place where you felt comfortable with allowing other people to come up with their own nicknames for you? Have you always held this attitude, or was it a process of personal growth?
A rodent by any other name . . . Seriously, you've got a wealth of names in Matilda and if nicknames are an index of love, you're surrounded by it. With a name like Ann, I'm always a bit envious of those people whose names inspired abundant nicknaming;-) Once upon there was a book (maybe in the 1920s) called Tillie the Mennonite Maid. My husband says that in his junior high school the kids called women with coverings "Tillie-nites." Personally, I prefer the denotation of "strong in the face of battle." Like Lewis you have a warrior's name, but there are many ways to engage in battle without doing bodily harm. In your essay it sounds like a name that inspires creativity. It's a good name, and a very old one.
ReplyDeleteI have a copy of "Tillie the Mennonite Maid," though I've never actually read it. Interestingly, it seems to have seen a reprinting recently. I always assumed it was a more or less unknown book.
ReplyDeleteHey Tilliewinks,
ReplyDeleteI can't believe now that your mom had to convince me that you were a Matilda. Now it is so obvious. As for the mighty in battle, I always think of the more noble battles like for justice and the spiritual sort. At any rate you are indeed, much loved.
Matilda,
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed "mighty in battle" which means you are strong and capable of dealing with the everyday challenges and joys of living. I don't see this as being in conflict with our Mennonite beliefs - we are called work for justice and peace with strength.
You were indeed named for an incredible, and noble woman. I loved her with all my heart - just like you! Mom xo